We may most likely rely the video games which have made us snort persistently on one hand. Possibly on two fingers. It’s so, so troublesome, not solely as a result of humour is wildly subjective, however comedic timing is extremely exhausting when the participant has management over that timing. It’s a surprise that humorous video games even exist.
Albacete Warrior is a comedic achievement. However not as a result of it manages to affix the elite membership of video games which are genuinely humorous. Albacete Warrior is, with none doubt, the least humorous comedy sport we’ve ever performed. Which is, certainly, an achievement (and we’ve performed Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard). The badness feels willful, just like the builders wished that crown. One way or the other, it manages to make us sigh and cringe on the similar time. We singe.
Let’s offer you a style. The Spanish ninja, Benito, grabs the neck of a hen and makes use of it as a weapon. However that hen is white, so for the complete the rest of the sport Benito makes jokes about his white cock, strangling his cock, flashing his cock at women, and driving his cock to a brand new degree. It goes on and on and frigging on, like that annoying one that thinks you haven’t heard a joke, so retains repeating it, again and again, getting nearer and extra frantic and determined. Cock. Cock. COCK.
Bosses don’t simply assault you, they fart, crap and flash themselves at you. Trump turns up, as a result of that’s humorous sufficient by itself, apparently. It’s a bit like Jim Davidson taking on the writing of a Mrs Brown’s Boys episode, in the event you can think about that.
What makes all of this a comedic hellscape is that it’s poorly translated, too. Albacete Warrior is clearly written by somebody whose English will not be of the best commonplace, and that’s superb. However when mixed with the smutty jokes, you typically simply get complicated burps of crudeness that don’t make a lot sense. If it was on Sport Go, we would have inspired you to attempt it at no cost, simply to see what it’s like. It’s an expertise.
The graphics redeem issues a bit. We fairly just like the look of Albacete Warrior, driving because it does on the very fashionable 2.5D artwork type. Flat 2D sprites trundle round on a 3D surroundings, like Octopath Traveller if everybody took some LSD and began a farting competitors. It’s bought some nostalgic hints of Starfox-era 16-bit video games, and we felt proper at dwelling.
The music’s nice too. Whereas we had been groaning from the comedy, confused by the story, and bashing our heads in opposition to the lounge desk due to the gameplay (that’s a deal with we’re but to disclose), then not less than we had soundtrack to get pleasure from. There’s an eclectic mixture of kinds right here, which inserts the entire ‘Spanish ninja’ culture-mashup to a tee.
However the gameplay. Oh gods, the unholy gameplay. Albacete Warrior is an action-platformer. We’d have paid chilly, exhausting money for it to have simply caught to the ‘motion’ bit, because the platformer suffix is nightmare gas. We nonetheless can’t consider we managed to finish sure platforming sequences in Albacete Warrior.
The place to even begin. There’s probably the most pronounced, complicated lag to the bounce that we’ve seemingly ever skilled. We counted precise seconds between urgent the bounce button and the bounce occurring on-screen. That is made worse – worse – in conditions like wall-jumps. You might be clinging onto a wall, urgent the bounce button, however haven’t any response in any respect from Benito. He continues to slip down, blinking at us and doubtless fascinated by cock.
When he does bounce from the wall, that bounce is totally random. It could be an enormous leap, springing with extra velocity than he actually ought to. Or it could possibly be a diddy one, leaving barely any room for a double-jump or sprint that might get you to the opposite platform. It’s a whole roll of the cube. Now think about twenty, thirty of those jumps in sequence, and it’s a must to begin once more in the event you fail. It’s water torture. We’ve got given up, spun round, picked up the pad, had one other go, after which given up extra instances than we will rely.
Depth notion is a factor, too. Benito, presumably as a result of he’s 2D, casts no shadow, so leaping into or out of the digital camera turns into a minefield. A minefield with no depth notion.
We may checklist these points all day. The double-jump typically doesn’t trouble triggering. The frenzy, too. There’s a slight slide as you start and finish a bounce, so you possibly can simply tumble off platforms in the event you land near an edge. Candy Mary, Mom of Jesus, Albacete Warrior is a travesty of a platformer.
It’s actually higher as a brawler, however we’ve to watch out right here. The fight is so, so significantly better than its platforming that it’s straightforward to go excessive and rejoice it as some form of second-coming of fight. However, with some detachment, it’s merely okay. The 2D sprites in a 3D surroundings results in an terrible lot of imprecision, as you assume you’ve sidled as much as a sombrero-wearing enemy, solely to seek out that you’re off by a pixel. The depth notion assaults once more.
However join with an enemy, and there’s some enjoyable right here. Combos might be fashioned with the X, Y and B buttons, and a blink-out-of-existence RT transfer is a refreshing tackle the dodge-roll. Bosses, after they’re not strolling punchlines, are fairly good too. They arrive packaged with a number of phases and assaults, and killing them is a real problem. Additionally they include the reassurance that there received’t be any sodding platforming for the following 5 minutes.
There’s one solitary evaluation of Albacete Warrior on-line, on the time of writing, they usually had been gushing with reward for its humour. It exhibits how subjective comedic video games might be, as a result of we discovered Albacete Warrior to be dumbfoundingly unfunny, like a moist fart at a funeral. Really, Albacete Warrior would have chuckled at that one.
However when that clunky humour is coupled with some stunningly unhealthy platforming, you’ve a sport that you just’d should be really masochistic to attempt. Truthfully, it’s not value it.
You should buy Albacete Warrior from the Xbox Retailer
We may most likely rely the video games which have made us snort persistently on one hand. Possibly on two fingers. It’s so, so troublesome, not solely as a result of humour is wildly subjective, however comedic timing is extremely exhausting when the participant has management over that timing. It’s a surprise that humorous video games even exist. Albacete Warrior is a comedic achievement. However not as a result of it manages to affix the elite membership of video games which are genuinely humorous. Albacete Warrior is, with none doubt, the least humorous comedy sport we’ve ever performed. Which is, certainly, an achievement (and we’ve performed Eat Lead:…
Albacete Warrior Evaluate
Albacete Warrior Evaluate
2023-02-05
Dave Ozzy
Professionals:
- 2.5D artwork is sort of good
- Fight has its pleasures
Cons:
- Terrible, groanworthy comedy
- Poorly translated, so makes little sense
- Horrible platforming and lack of depth-perception
- Laggy controls
Data:
- Huge thanks for the free copy of the sport go to – Eastasiasoft
- Codecs – Xbox Collection X|S, Xbox One, PS4, PS5, Swap
- Model reviewed – Xbox Collection X
- Launch date – 1 February 2023
- Launch worth from – £8.39
TXH Rating
1/5
Professionals:
- 2.5D artwork is sort of good
- Fight has its pleasures
Cons:
- Terrible, groanworthy comedy
- Poorly translated, so makes little sense
- Horrible platforming and lack of depth-perception
- Laggy controls
Data:
- Huge thanks for the free copy of the sport go to – Eastasiasoft
- Codecs – Xbox Collection X|S, Xbox One, PS4, PS5, Swap
- Model reviewed – Xbox Collection X
- Launch date – 1 February 2023
- Launch worth from – £8.39